By nature and choice
I stand, apart.
A Watcher and Listener,
Plaintiff and Prosecutor,
Of the selves I judge.
Yet, I cannot deny
The urge to join and express
Amongst the tumultuous voices.
I hold myself,
Oft awkwardly,
Aloft from them.
Those I would view me bared,
Pared to desires and impulses
To wishful nerves and dreaming bones.
The should-be comrades of youth:
I despise and desire.
Though it is briefly visible,
When known,
The divide of longing pain
And painful longing
Stands conspicuous
Like a scar on the air.
In those transient moments,
I feel the acute Pariah's pain.
